Ardate

So, I logged back after a thousand years.

I still don't really know if I'll stay for long, or stay at all. I'd like to, but... I don't know. dA isn't such a huge part of myself as it used to, and I don't even draw all that much anymore.
I apologize for leaving suddenly, again, I guess my oldest dA friends are sadly used to that by now.

I don't really know how to explain exactely what goes on through my mind in these moments, but it's basically that; I sometimes get overwhelmed. Friendships (and family), as precious as they are, sometimes become burdens and I want to bury myself deep inside the Earth so people could forget I exist, to get some peace. So in these moments I just fly away, disconnect from everything, and cut myself from any and all interactions for a more or less long period of time.
Then, once the feeling goes away, only shame remains. I realise I haven't talked to my internet friends in 2 months. I don't know how to come back without feeling stupid and shameful and ridiculous and detestable. So I can't bring myself to come back, out of mindless fear. And two months morph into six, eight, twelve months... And it happens too often not to be bothered by it.

I feel the need to say it again: my friendships are precious to me. They heal me, help me through everything. It has nothing to do with you but rather with me. The extent of your goodness won't stop me from running away from you sometimes.

This isn't as much of an apology as it is of an explaination; an apology won't suffice for excusing letting my friends endure this behaviour.

But still... I'm sorry, again.
Particularly to those who used to be my closest internet friends, they will recognize themselves.

I don't really know what the future of this account will be, for now. I'm just leaving this journal out there since I managed to log in here again.

I love you all, I truely do!

I found out about another great ARPG group, go check it out if you're interested!
Their thingies are pretty cute c:

Again. Again. Again.
Since Charlie Hebdo we can't have one year of peace.
All my thoughts go the to the families of the 84 victims of last night...
France bleeds. Again.

I have the dumb hope to win this prize (cause yes I absolutly love plushies), so I'm sharing the journal! Check it out!

NOXX'S CUSTOM PLUSH GIVEAWAY! [CLOSED]Noxx's Plush Giveaway 2016
Hey guys! It's summertime, so that means it's time for an event! In the past I've done both contests and giveaways. This time I've decided to go with a giveaway, but one with a much bigger prize with more options for whoever wins!
THE GOODS
The winner of this giveaway will win one LARGE CREATURE or PONY plush!
Shipping is free, worldwide.
This could include things I have a pattern for; Pony, Giraffaroo, Mantibab, General quadruped species (sitting or standing).

Or any other species that you have with mostly animal features. (Other closed/open species, pokemon, ACNL etc)
I will not be doing any human/ humanoid plushies at the moment.
This prize has a $300-$600+ value!
HOW TO ENTER
Anyone can enter, regardless of if the

Hey everyone! I'm finally back!
I finished my studies a week ago, and it's such a weird feeling. I'll have to find a job soon, but I still don't feel like an adult. It's just... Weird. I've been to the International Animation Festival in Annecy this past week, and it was great! Some good memories with my classmates before saying goodbye.
I have hundreds of messages and comments on here to answer to, sorry if it takes some time for me to get back to you! I'll try my best to do that tomorrow!

Thank you all for your kind messages! It really helped me through the end of the year^^

(Sad news to Metalocalypse fans: it's official, the show won't ever come back. You'll find all the informations on here: The End of Metalocalypse)

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Hey tout le monde ! Je suis de retour !
J'ai fini mes études il y a une semaine, et c'est un sentiment vraiment étrange. Je vais devoir trouver un travail bientôt, mais je ne me sens toujours pas adulte. C'est juste... Etrange. Je suis allée au Festival International de l'Animation à Annecy cette semaine, c'était super ! Et j'y ai fait de bons souvenirs avec mes camarades de promo avant de leur dire au revoir.
J'ai des centaines de messages et commentaires auxquels je dois répondre ici, je suis désolée si ça me prend du temps pour vous contacter ! Je ferais de mon mieux pour faire tout ça demain !

Merci mille fois pour tous vos gentils messages en tout cas ! Ca m'a beaucoup aidée sur la fin de mon année^^

(Triste nouvelle pour les fans de Metalocalypse : c'est officiel, la série ne reviendra jamais. Vous trouverez toutes les infos ici : The End of Metalocalypse)