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About Film & Animation / Student ArdateOther/France Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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What am I going to do with you? by Ardate What am I going to do with you? :iconardate:Ardate 21 19 Itami - Some nocturnal headshots by Ardate Itami - Some nocturnal headshots :iconardate:Ardate 17 9 Hodur - Bleed ! by Ardate Hodur - Bleed ! :iconardate:Ardate 24 12 Ehlana - Taking you down by Ardate Ehlana - Taking you down :iconardate:Ardate 29 16 Mira - Fight above the ice by Ardate Mira - Fight above the ice :iconardate:Ardate 23 19 Ehlana - Assaulting the Beast by Ardate Ehlana - Assaulting the Beast :iconardate:Ardate 28 25 Sleeping bird by Ardate Sleeping bird :iconardate:Ardate 24 16 The Gift by Ardate The Gift :iconardate:Ardate 24 36 Jest - Sunset by Ardate Jest - Sunset :iconardate:Ardate 18 16 Jest - Race by Ardate Jest - Race :iconardate:Ardate 16 20 Milli - On the hunt by Ardate Milli - On the hunt :iconardate:Ardate 42 24 Ignatius - Ref Sheet by Ardate Ignatius - Ref Sheet :iconardate:Ardate 13 10 Underground Home by Ardate Underground Home :iconardate:Ardate 38 54 Teneris by Ardate Teneris :iconardate:Ardate 36 33 Starlett by Ardate Starlett :iconardate:Ardate 10 27 Disgusting by Ardate Disgusting :iconardate:Ardate 14 16
Thanks for visiting my profile!
You're welcome for favs and llamas!


-----THINGS TO DO-----
:bulletblack: 60 AP for Kach-22 (0/60)

-----WAITING FOR-----
:bulletblack: 96 AP of Naylite from Nyamune -paid-
:bulletblack: 72 AP of Naylite from therealluckgandor -paid- (end of october… )
:bulletblack: 3 pics of Wanda from ZinoLair -paid-
:bulletblack: 8 poses Sheet of Aquilam from Ihmislehma
:bulletblack: 8 poses Sheet of Condor from Ihmislehma


So, I logged back after a thousand years.

I still don't really know if I'll stay for long, or stay at all. I'd like to, but... I don't know. dA isn't such a huge part of myself as it used to, and I don't even draw all that much anymore.
I apologize for leaving suddenly, again, I guess my oldest dA friends are sadly used to that by now.

I don't really know how to explain exactely what goes on through my mind in these moments, but it's basically that; I sometimes get overwhelmed. Friendships (and family), as precious as they are, sometimes become burdens and I want to bury myself deep inside the Earth so people could forget I exist, to get some peace. So in these moments I just fly away, disconnect from everything, and cut myself from any and all interactions for a more or less long period of time.
Then, once the feeling goes away, only shame remains. I realise I haven't talked to my internet friends in 2 months. I don't know how to come back without feeling stupid and shameful and ridiculous and detestable. So I can't bring myself to come back, out of mindless fear. And two months morph into six, eight, twelve months... And it happens too often not to be bothered by it.

I feel the need to say it again: my friendships are precious to me. They heal me, help me through everything. It has nothing to do with you but rather with me. The extent of your goodness won't stop me from running away from you sometimes.

This isn't as much of an apology as it is of an explaination; an apology won't suffice for excusing letting my friends endure this behaviour.

But still... I'm sorry, again.
Particularly to those who used to be my closest internet friends, they will recognize themselves.

I don't really know what the future of this account will be, for now. I'm just leaving this journal out there since I managed to log in here again.

I love you all, I truely do!


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Kaviix Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2017  Student General Artist
Flagged as Spam
Ardate Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2017  Student Filmographer
Oh wow, what a non-suspicious link! I'll go click on it right now! (that's irony, in case you missed it)
Reporting you to staff right now.
lonares Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
il est trop cool ton profil !
Ardate Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2017  Student Filmographer
Merci beaucoup!
Driiks Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
Salut, ami français!

Si tu aime la lecture, les livres, l'évasion, l' t'invite à visiter le site…

sur lequel je commente les livres que je lis et tu es libre de commenter à ton tour ce que tu veux ou faire partager tes propres lectures.

Bonne continuation sur DeviantArt!:book-bounce: 
Kireya Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
happy birthday!
K-Zlovetch Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
cake Cake for Shifteh cake Cake for Shifteh cake 
Rhayian Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist

Joyeux anniversaire, Ardate! :party::icondragonhug:
Rhayian Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
SALUT!! :heart: Et bonne année 2017! :hug: Meilleur vœux! <3
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